A Story of Resilience

Sharing The Lived Experience of the Harnish Sisters

Remarkably Resilient grew from when the Harnish sisters: Kathleen, Karen and Sharon, began learning about the neuroscience of trauma and what it meant for their lived experience of surviving a childhood of incest and abuse.

Their stories–and survival–explore the healing role that individuals and communities can play for people recovering from childhood trauma.

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Remarkably Resilient
Community Matters

In their book, “Remarkably Resilient, Community Matters,” the sisters share their stories of resilience, informed by what they have learned about the neuroscience of trauma and through their lived experience. One of the most profound insights for the sisters was uncovering the paradigm shift that the neuroscience of trauma provides: from thinking “What is wrong with you?” to “What happened to you?”

This learning journey led to creating the Remarkably Resilient Together® community campaign to teach resilience, as well as a planned documentary, numerous workshops, keynote speeches, videos and more.

Now, as part of the larger Remarkably Resilient® organization, the sisters are focused on advocacy and resources for others with similar lived experiences. Their hope is to support other trauma survivors by helping them find their voices while providing information, skills and resources for healing.

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“It took us until our mid-fifties to find the courage and strength to share our stories: first, with each other, and then with the world. We have found immense healing in finally giving voice to that which we had kept to ourselves for so long.”
–Kathleen, the eldest of the Harnish sisters

The Art & Philosophy of Kintsugi

Broken, still beautiful. Pieces, now whole.

The cover of our book, “Remarkably Resilient, Community Matters,” reflects the traditional Japanese art of Kintsugi. At its essence, Kintsugi is about taking the fragments from broken objects and creating something new from them. Kintsugi as a philosophy treats breakage and repair as part of the history of an object, rather than something to disguise.

The idea that something broken can be brought back to a new form–different, yet just as beautiful–resonated with us three sisters in so many ways. Our book cover symbolizes our three unique paths emanating from a shared childhood. Like the Kintsugi philosophy, we no longer feel the need to disguise the brokenness from our history of incest and abuse in our paternal family, but rather shine a light on hope and healing.

Writing “Remarkably Resilient, Community Matters” helped us heal in unexpected ways. As Remarkably Resilient’s reach grows, our hope is that we will make a positive difference in the lives of others who have experienced abuse, incest or other forms of trauma.

With our warmest regards,

The Harnish Sisters: Kathleen, Karen & Sharon

Free Videos & Resources

In this 50-minute video, the Harnish sisters share their stories of resilience. Many organizations use this video as part of their Trauma 101 training when they need a lived-experience speaker.

Contact us if you would like one or more of the Harnish sisters to virtually join a training session after showing the video to answer questions – there is no charge for this.

Additional videos from the Remarkably Resilient Together® community awareness program are also available on the Remarkably Resilient Together page.

If you find these free downloads helpful, please consider making a donation of any amount to Remarkably Resilient, Inc. so we can continue fulfilling our mission to raise awareness about trauma and its impacts and to provide resilience strengthening skills.

The Remarkably Resilient Documentary

When we talk about abuse, we often think of strangers or people outside the home. But the truth is, some of the most devastating violations happen within families – behind closed doors, where trust should be sacred. Incest is one of the most hidden and painful forms of abuse, not just because of what happens, but because of how hard it is to speak about.

Breaking the silence takes unimaginable courage. And as a society, we have a responsibility to listen without judgment to believe survivors, no matter how many years it takes them to summon the courage to share their stories. We must create spaces where no one feels alone in their truth. Until we do, incest will remain in the shadows – and so will the people who’ve experienced it.

Our hope is to share our story in a groundbreaking documentary that will create this important space for survivors and bring the uncomfortable truth to the light. Only then can the healing begin.

We’re looking for a documentary partner!

Do you know someone who can help us? Contact Karen Dickson.

Our Impact

Touching notes and testimonials from those who have been affected by Remarkably Resilient presentations, workshops and materials.

“I loved the idea of using the 5 R’s for Resilience as pillars for recovery. I also loved the actionable step of creating a timeline of turning points. I am inspired to go out right now and buy a journal specifically for my recovery journey.”

Adult Survivor

“Sidney did such a beautiful job facilitating and holding the space and Karen and Kathleen did so well in recounting their experiences in an empowering way. I feel seen and understood. To be honest, I think for a 90 minute workshop, all elements of what was needed—the intros, the story, the actionable steps, spaces for reflection, and further resources was a perfect procession for an online workshop. I feel I got everything I needed from it!”

Adult Survivor

“FANTASTIC workshop! I had never heard of these sisters before RR. I am so glad I was able to attend. Enhanced my present so much. Just brilliant! This (IMHO) is what True Recovery looks like.”

Adult Survivor

“Remarkably Resilient goes beyond the lived experience of the three sisters to focus on the whys and hows of what happens to the brain when you’ve gone through something as horrible and awful as they have. Best of all, their story doesn’t end with their trauma. They’re on a mission to give us hope and to share what helped them survive. Listening to their story really drives home the need to approach all people, especially those with challenging behaviors, with empathy—and without judgment.”

Angie Smith
Attorney, Kansas Foster Care

“Saying this was a good keynote doesn’t quite cover it. People were blown away. The three sisters have a story that everyone needs to hear, and not just behavioral health professionals. The abuse they survived is unfathomable, but their story of strength and resilience is one of the most impressive and moving I’ve ever heard. I hope more people hear their message of hope and of how critical healthy relationships are to healing.”

Michelle Ponce
Associate Director, Association of Community Mental Health Centers of Kansas

“I recently listened to Kathleen and Karen tell their stories of childhood trauma and abuse to an audience of over two hundred people attending a virtual conference on violence prevention. I was awe-struck by how they had responded with strength and resilience. This—along with the insights they share about their recoveries in Remarkably Resilient, Community Matters—provide avenues for how we as individuals and as members of the larger community can help promote healing and resilience in ourselves and others. They reinforced my belief that we all have the power to heal, through kindness, compassion, empathy and understanding.”

Tim DeWeese, LMSW
Director, Johnson County Mental Health Center

“At the heart of Remarkably Resilient is the journey of three sisters who shared a home life riddled with trauma and the unique, but similar paths each sister found to healing and helping. Their stories and insights about the neuroscience of trauma and resilience can help all of us—professionals and lay people—who aim to help incest and abuse survivors with their recovery. The three sisters weave together research with personal reflections to underscore the important communities can play in the healing process.”

Randy Callstrom, LSCSW,
CEO, Wyandot Behavioral Health Network

“Remarkably Resilient is one of the most powerful webinars that I’ve attended. Not only do the sisters tell their story of trauma, but they draw from their experience to share what helped them build resilience in the face of such adversity. I especially appreciated how, as survivors themselves, they’re very sensitive to the way their stories could trigger other survivors of trauma.”

Dr. Joyce Carter
Former Director of Wellness, Resilient Retreat

“We are so grateful to have these incredibly resilient women share their experiences with us. It is extremely valuable for employees in human services industries to be able to see how similar trauma experiences within the same home can produce such dissimilar responses and mental illness based on their unique perspectives and personalities. It is important for us to see these strong adults who are thriving and successful and the different ways they were able to come out of those dark places. We need to see that our work makes a long-term difference in the lives of our clients and that there truly is hope for recovery in those we serve. Their willingness to be vulnerable with us and answer all of our probing questions is a testament to their selflessness.”

Jenni Leaton
Staff Development Coordinator, Johnson County Mental Health Center

“The Harnish sisters’ story shares much more than childhood abuse and incest. They connect their experiences to current neuroscience research to deliver a critical message—that healthy relationships are a necessary part of recovery. The people who built those relationships would not explain it this way, but they provided healthy organizing neural experiences which helped the sisters define a healthy normal world. As someone who has worked in the community mental health movement for four decades, I know that communities have the capacity to contribute to healing. The Harnish sisters share with us how that work gets done—and inspire us to do the same for others.”

Richard Gaskill, LCPC
Executive Director, Sumner Mental Health Center

Peggy’s
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Thank you

Hi Kathleen,

I wanted to reach out after attending you and your sister’s workshop today at the Mental Health KC Conference. I want to express my sincerest gratitude to all of you.

Thank you . . .

  • for being vulnerable.
  • for being brave and sharing your story.
  • for your insights so that we can recognize and positively intervene with others in the same situation.
  • for openly sharing your perspectives so that we might have a better understanding of the journeys others have experienced.

It was impactful, and I feel the need to give all of you a huge virtual hug. You and your sisters are truly amazing!

Peggy Shear-Martin, Director of Health Integration Services, Johnson County Mental Health Center

Incredible presentation

Kathleen,

I wanted to thank you and your sisters for your incredible presentation at the conference last week. You each shared so powerfully and I was honored to be in the space with you all. The way you outlined the presentation was so impactful and you did an amazing job highlighting the different ways that you each responded to the trauma you experienced. Hearing about Bill and about Boy the dog was absolutely moving. In the Office of Victim Services and our batterer intervention program, we talk a lot about “Enlightened Witnesses” – those people (or pets) that got us through the hardest of things, that saw us and loved us and who we could be our whole, imperfect selves with. You all spoke masterfully about enlightened witnesses. I’m so grateful you included that piece in your presentation.

I was also so so moved by the relationship between the three of you. It was such a gift to hold space with you as you spoke vulnerably, belly laughed and supported each other. You modeled resilience and provided such a hopeful space.

Thank you so much for sharing your experience. It’s powerful and healing and I’m grateful. Please pass my thanks and gratitude on to your sisters, if you have the chance.

Take care, Kathleen!

Audrey Cress, Director of Victim Services, Kansas Department of Corrections

I am so moved by your story

I purchased your book this week.  I am halfway through it.  I am so moved by your story.  I can relate to sections of each sisters’ story and how each responded.  I want to say Thank You to each one of you.  I believe that when we are vulnerable enough to share our stories, others find the courage to face theirs.  Telling our stories takes the power out of the shame so many of us carry and allows us the power to own our story instead of allowing it to own us!  Thank you for being such champions.  I have much respect for each of you.  You are changing lives!  Big Hugs!

Judi Rodman, MS Ed, LPC, President and CEO, Sunflower House, Inc.

Your book is amazing

I just finished reading the book. It’s amazing.

I found it hard to read and at the same time hard to put down.

I cried. I reflected. I was inspired.

It was so thought-provoking, I thought about my own childhood, and where my resilience came from. I thought about the homeless people I see every day and now wonder what their childhood was like and how that shaped their brains and their lives. I thought about how brave you and your sisters were to have survived and thrived. I thought about how brave you all were to have written this. It couldn’t have been easy to relive the stories and to put yourselves out there for others to learn from and act on.

Sara Holtz, Author, Advice to My Younger Me: Career Lessons from 100 Successful Women

The Harnish Sisters
Then & Now

Then: Kathleen, left, at age three, with 18-month-old twins Karen & Sharon.

Now: Kathleen, Karen & Sharon as survivors, authors and advocates.

Learn more about the Harnish Sisters on the About Us page.

ThenNow